White Water Page 10

  Most of his money had been lost but he went off to wager what remained on Brin. If Brin won he would gamble again, if he lost he would enjoy watching other folks parting with their money. He had a cheerful disposition and was not easily cast down by failure. He glanced round for Martin and saw him some distance away, talking to a small unshaven man with darkly glittering eyes. Nat groaned inwardly as he recognized the man. It was Jonah Gillis, the old woodcutter from the other side of Ashburton. The man was a well known rogue and had narrowly escaped the clutches of the law on several occasions. He had a nervous tic and frequently jerked his head to the left side and blinked his eyes. Nat wondered what business Martin could have with a Gillis. They were a strange brood, the Gillises. Shiftless and not to be trusted. His wife, Aileen, was not right in the head, or so folks said. Word had it she sang strange songs and made no answer if folks spoke to her except to wring her hands and shake her head. He gave a shout and Martin turned to raise a hand then turned back to continue his conversation. Ah well, Nat Gully wasn’t playing nurse to a boy of his age. No doubt he could fend for himself and he, Nat, must get along to the start or Brin would miss the next race and that would never do.

  *

  Martin and the two younger children had not returned when Eloise and her father rode into the courtyard outside Heron and Maria, Hugo and Allan went out alone to welcome them. Eloise wore a dark green travelling robe and her hair hung down her back in a mass of chestnut curls. They had stopped a half mile back to freshen up with the help of damp towels, combs and brushes and in her slim, well-fitting clothes Eloise looked a picture of youthful health and good spirits. Allan wore grey, the doublet slashed with red and his blond hair gleamed in the late afternoon sunshine. Hugo called Jon and Matt to hold the horses while they alighted and Allan went forward to assist Eloise. He smiled politely and reached up to help her. His hands went round her waist and then set her down.

  ‘Welcome to Heron,’ he said. He was nervous and the words sounded more formal than he intended. As he looked into the beautiful face he knew he should say more — pay her the compliment she deserved; express his joy at seeing her for the first time. She looked up into his face, waiting, and there was an unspoken arrogance in her smile. As clearly as though she had spoken Allan heard her thoughts — ‘See how beautiful I am? Confess yourself more fortunate than you had dared to expect’. Yet the smile was friendly and she dropped him a low curtsey as he lifted her hand to his lips. The words died in his throat and he could not retrieve them. Instead he stared into her eyes searching for a hint of gentleness, warmth or understanding, but found only a confidence which he himself lacked. She gave him a slightly mocking smile with her head on one side and he found himself stammering. From the corner of his eye he saw Maria glance towards them and he cursed his stupidity. Here was a man of twenty-one outfaced and discomfited by a girl not yet fourteen. It was ridiculous.

  ‘I — I trust you had a good journey,’ he said.

  ‘’Twas fair.’ She watched him with growing amusement, not helping him, not making it easier for him. He saw Harriet in his mind’s eye, timid and loving, so different from this bold Eloise. He wanted to close his eyes and see the ghost more clearly but the beautiful blue eyes were holding his in an unflinching stare, demanding his attention.

  Aware of his reaction, Maria turned quickly, drew Eloise into her arms and kissed her warmly.

  ‘How good it is to see you again,’ she said, ‘and looking so fresh. I thought you would be weary from your long journey. And you are hungry, no doubt. We will eat shortly. Minnie has excelled herself in your honour and has prepared a huge meal so I hope our appetites will do justice to it.’

  Hugo was talking with James Ballantyne and now he introduced the two men, who smiled and bowed to each other and exchanged the usual pleasantries.

  ‘Your sister-in-law did not exaggerate,’ James told Hugo. ‘Allan is a fine man. You must be very proud of him. They will make a handsome couple — and raise a handsome family! I think I could not give my daughter into safer hands. I’m well pleased.’ He spoke as though the matter were already settled but Allan made no comment. Hastily Hugo sent away the grooms and horses and Maria led their visitors towards the house.

  ‘We cannot stand gossiping on the steps forever,’ she laughed. ‘We will go in and show you to your rooms.’ She turned to Eloise. ‘And what do you think of Heron — what you have seen so far? We love it and I hope you will also. ’Tis rambling but comfortable.’

  Eloise admitted that she was very impressed with its size and position.

  Maria laughed. ‘Tell her what happens in winter, Allan.’

  Allan smiled. ‘We are always snowbound,’ he told her, ‘but it has its compensations. We toboggan down the slopes and the little ones make snowballs and the kitchen is full of drying clothes. But we are well provisioned and never starve.’

  James Ballantyne said, ‘You won’t lack fuel for the fire, either. We passed plenty of trees.’

  ‘We put our woods to good use,’ said Allan, ‘for they also provide pit props and shuttering for the mine.’

  Maria, relieved that their son was now talking more freely, relaxed slightly and sent for Ellie to show the guests to their rooms. She had not referred to the absence of the rest of the family and still hoped they might return before the meal. She was angry with them for their disappearance, but she was at pains to hide it until the visitors were upstairs and beyond earshot.

  ‘Where can they be?’ she demanded of Hugo, although she knew it was a pointless question. He knew no more than she did.

  ‘I don’t know but ’tis no use fretting,’ he said. ‘As long as they have come to no harm we must be satisfied to see them when they do return.’

  ‘Come to no harm? Why, Hugo, you don’t think — ’

  ‘No, no. I don’t think it likely but it never does to make rash judgements. There may be a sound reason for their lateness.’

  Maria glanced in through the hall doorway to reassure herself that the table looked as good as she remembered. It did and she nodded distractedly.

  ‘I think they liked each other,’ said Hugo and she hesitated before replying that she hoped so. ‘Don’t you think they did?’ he persisted.

  ‘I’m not certain of it — but maybe I expected too much. They need time alone, to talk, and get to know each other.’ She smiled. ‘I’m too eager, I dare say. I was always so sure of my feelings for you, I expect others to know their own minds just as surely. I thought Allan was … ’ She searched for the right word, ‘ … reluctant, somehow. Do you think he is determined not to like her?’

  ‘Who can tell. We must wait and hope.’

  ‘Aye. But, Hugo, we only want his happiness. We cannot restore Harriet to life but we can give him another love. Is that wrong?’

  He drew her into his arms and kissed her gently. ‘No one says we do wrong, Maria. If we have acted too quickly ‘twas no more than a mistake and from the best intentions. We have no cause to blame ourselves. Most likely the match will turn out well. You must not fret. We will all relax and help them as much as we can. Now stop frowning. It doesn’t become you. They will be down again before long and we must greet them cheerfully.’

  They finally began the meal to the accompaniment of black looks from Minnie who had cooked for eight and saw only five at the table. She knew where the other three had gone but had said nothing. She could not reveal her knowledge since she had gained it by eavesdropping, so she had to content herself with a few muttered comments and the occasional banging of lid upon pan, until a whispered reprimand from Hugo sent her scarlet-faced and furious into the kitchen in one of her sulks.

  A creamy onion soup was followed by roast venison and vegetables. The wine was plentiful and the. talk became animated. Even Allan joined in the conversation and was attentive and charming to Eloise who radiated high spirits. Her eyes shone and there was an excited blush in her cheeks. Hugo made a passing reference to the absence of Martin, Piers and Lorna, saying t
hat they had obviously been delayed and Maria turned the talk immediately to the topic of the mine. Minnie had made a peach tart and a syllabub and there were nuts and fresh fruits. Ellie, carrying in these delights, hoped most earnestly that the diners were already full and would leave most of the desserts so that the servants might finish them off later.

  Suddenly there was a commotion outside. They heard Piers cry, ‘Not yet, Lorna. Come back.’ But she came flying into the room. She was hot and dusty and her long dark hair was dishevelled. Her face was flushed with excitement and she carried a black and white puppy under her arm. ‘Mama, Papa, look here. Martin has bought a puppy.’ She held him up, oblivious to the presence of strangers and too excited to register the disapproval on her parents’ faces. ‘See how bonny he is? ’Tis a dog and Jonah Gillis says he’ll be a winner but Nat says Jonah Gillis is a rogue. He says the Gillises are all either bad or mad but … ’

  Piers had now appeared in the doorway, a stricken look on his face as he saw the effect of his sister’s appearance. He hesitated, torn between the desire to silence her and the desire not to be involved himself.

  She went on: ‘There were five pups for sale and this one will be the fastest because he has the best lines. I am to care for him while Martin is away at school and in the holidays — ’

  She faltered suddenly and looked at Allan who had gone very white and half rose from the bench. Hugo cursed under his breath and Maria stared at Allan beseechingly. Eloise and her father exchanged glances, puzzled by their reactions to the girl’s prattle. There was a moment’s silence as though they all waited for the drama to be resolved.

  ‘His little nose is — is cold and wet,’ stammered Lorna. ‘That means he is — in good health — ’ She turned to Piers who moved reluctantly towards her.

  ‘Lorna!’ cried Maria. ‘How dare you burst in this way — ’

  She didn’t finish but threw an agonized look at Hugo. He said sharply, ‘That will do, Lorna! You know better than to come to the table in such a state. Take the pup away. I will talk to you later.’

  Lorna stared at him and the tears started in her eyes.

  ‘We’d best go,’ whispered Piers but she remained apparently rooted to the spot and he snatched the pup from her and ran out of the room.

  The little girl burst into loud sobs and Maria stammered, ‘Please excuse her. ’Tis very amiss — ’ and made as though to leave the table, but Hugo shook his head discreetly and indicated to Allan that he should also sit down again.

  At that moment Martin came into the room arms outstretched towards Lorna who flew to them. He picked her up and hugged her and whispered something that immediately silenced her tears. With a cheerful grin he addressed first Hugo and Maria.

  ‘Please forgive the untimely interruption. We did not intend to disturb your meal. We are so late and the fault is entirely mine. I shall ask Minnie to feed us in the kitchen for our sins. Tis all we’re fit for at present.’ He turned to James Ballantyne and made a small bow. ‘I trust you will forgive our rude manners,’ he said. ‘We meant no disrespect.’

  ‘Why, none taken, young man.’

  ‘And you must be Eloise — ’ Martin gave her a bow also. ‘My brother is most fortunate. I envy him.’

  ‘You are very kind,’ said Eloise, slightly taken aback by the easy charm of this young man with the dark good looks.

  ‘Then we’ll leave you to enjoy the rest of your meal in peace.’

  He carried Lorna out of the room and for a moment the diners looked at one another in silence. James was first to speak.

  ‘A charming young man,’ he said. ‘He reminds me of my own youth. Oh aye — I was just as wilful at that age and careless of life’s little courtesies. But he apologized most handsomely. I hope you will not rebuke them on our account.’

  ‘You are very generous,’ said Hugo, ‘but — ’

  ‘No buts! I insist the matter is of no importance. Their absence in no way spoiled our meal, and they have obviously enjoyed themselves. Youth is fleeting. We must make allowances. That syllabub looks very good. I wonder, could I … ?’

  ‘Most certainly.’ Maria nodded to Ellie who served him a large helping and the meal was resumed and the conversation returned to other topics.

  *

  After dinner Allan announced abruptly that he would take a short ride out. Maria’s heart sank.

  ‘Then take Eloise with you,’ she suggested. ‘You can show her the moor in its summer colours.’

  But Eloise shook her head. ‘I must decline,’ she said. ‘Riding is not one of my accomplishments. I ride the streets of Rochester but only at a walking pace and then only when the street rubbish makes it necessary.’

  Allan stood silent. Hugo said, ‘Allan will have to teach you. Without a horse you would not get very far here. Not even to the nearest town.’

  Eloise nodded. ‘I shall learn most willingly but today I am weary and too full of good food to move from this stool. Do go alone, Allan.’

  ‘I will.’

  In the stable yard Maria caught up with him and plucked at his sleeve.

  He kept his face averted.

  ‘Allan! I know what grieves you,’ she said, ‘but pay no heed to it. ’Twas no more than a child’s careless prattle. It means nothing, believe me.’

  ‘They were Nat Gully’s words, not Lorna’s. Don’t pretend with me, Maria, I am past such make believe.’

  He threw the saddle over the horse’s back and bent to adjust the strap.

  ‘But Allan, you take everything to heart so. You must learn to put the matter out of your mind. ’Twas so long ago.’

  ‘She was my grandmother! You can’t imagine how that feels.’

  ‘But she’s long dead, Allan. ’Tis all forgotten.’

  ‘Not by her grandson.’ He straightened up and faced her and she saw anger in his eyes as he went on:

  ‘If Isobel Gillis had lived a normal lifespan she would be alive now and then how would it be? Would I visit her and listen to her ramblings about my grandfather and their illicit love affair?’

  ‘Allan! Don’t speak that way — ’

  ‘Would she visit us? Would the Kendals be on speaking terms with the Gillises? All bad or mad, he said, and he’s likely right. They are despised in these parts and we all give thanks that Isobel died young. That may be well enough for the rest of you, but ’tis I have her blood in me! Nothing can change that. Which attributes have I inherited, Maria? Will I go mad or to the bad? It’s not a choice for the squeamish.’

  He jerked himself free from her restraining hand and swung himself up into the saddle. ‘I need space,’ he said, ‘and time to think.’

  ‘Allan, for pity’s sake. Think clearly, Allan. Your father was her son. He was neither bad nor mad.’

  ‘Mayhap he didn’t live long enough to become either,’ said Allan. ‘He managed to die nobly in battle. Let go of me, Maria. I must ride out, I tell you.’

  Maria clung to him more fiercely. ‘But you did like her, Allan. I saw it in your face. Tell me you did like her. She is as beautiful as I predicted, is she not? And she was taken with you, Allan. I saw that also.’

  ‘I have to think,’ he said. ‘She should not be kept in ignorance. Yet I doubt she will have me when she knows.’

  ‘Then do not tell her, Allan. In God’s name promise you will keep silent on the matter. Allan, answer me!’

  But he leaned down, his face a mask, and wrenched at her fingers until he was free, then spurred his horse to a canter and rode off towards the darkening moor.

  He rode with Lorna’s words ringing in his ears until Heron disappeared from view. Then he dismounted and flung himself down on to the springy turf, leaving his horse to graze. Clasping his knees, he stared at the sunset, but his eyes were blind to the trailing glory of pink and grey which streaked the yellow sky. He was deaf to the lark which rose nearby and oblivious to the scent of sun-baked heather.

  For his eyes saw only Eloise and only her laughter rang in his ears. His h
eart beat for her and his body ached traitorously for hers. All his senses were alive in a way they never had been before. He felt a new awareness as though only now was he fully alive. Eloise Ballantyne! His mind raced and he fancied he heard his blood coursing through his veins. Dazedly he shook his head, astonished at the sweet confusion into which she had thrown him. Eloise! Dear God, he whispered. This cannot be! The girl he had been so reluctant to meet had swept away his defences with the first challenging look from those cool blue-green eyes. He was amazed, ashamed, delighted. Maria had warned him and he had paid no heed. ‘You will care for her,’ she had told him. Care for her? He almost laughed at the memory, shaking his head in disbelief at the wonderful, inexplicable joy that drowned his senses.

  But had anyone else been aware of the strength of his feelings? He had tried so hard to hide them; tried so hard to keep the image of Harriet clear and strong in his mind. But he had finally lost her. Harriet had faded little by little, driven away by the power of Eloise’s presence. And he had surrendered her with scarcely a fight! Now he felt remorse pricking him and his joy was involuntarily dimmed. His sweet Harriet! He had betrayed her. Pray God she need not know of it, he thought, yet even that awful thought could not spoil his newfound happiness. The plain truth was that Eloise Ballantyne had bewitched him. He confessed it unreservedly, trying to come to terms with all that the confession entailed. He would wed the girl — if she would have him.

  But would she accept him when she knew of the Gillis blood? A coldness seized him at the mere possibility Eloise Ballantyne might refuse him and who could blame her? Such a beautiful woman surely deserved a better match. If he told her the truth she could make up her own mind. But if she chose not to wed him could he accept it? And if she chose to go ahead with the betrothal — she would bear him sons and daughters that were part Gillis!

  He sighed deeply and flung himself face down on the grass, his head cradled in his arms. For so many years — ever since he had known about Isobel Gillis — he had struggled to believe what Hugo and Maria told him — that there was nothing for him to fear and no reason to feel shame. He had married Harriet and, against his better judgement, had told her nothing. They had lived together lovingly for a few months and then God had seen fit to take her from him. But was it retribution? Was it God’s will that there should be no more Kendals marred with Gillis blood? Now a fresh thought struck him, sending a chill through him. Was he behaving abnormally by coming here to wrestle with his problem? ‘Oh God,’ he whispered, ‘is this the beginning? Am I obsessed with my past or is it normal to have such fears? If it were Martin in my place, would he be prey to the same anxieties? Sweet heaven, am I going mad? Is this madness? Or if I let my thoughts run wild will I then go mad?’ Desperately he tried to review his life so far to discover any strangeness in him that might forewarn him, but he could think of nothing untoward. Maria had spoken truly when she mentioned his father. Simon had no badness in him, and no madness. It had been churlish to answer her the way he did. Maria meant well but she did not understand him. He was the odd chick in the brood — the only child of Simon and Hannah. They were both dead and he had no one of his own to turn to. Beatrice and Martin shared Hannah and Hugo. The little ones shared Hugo and Maria. But he alone inherited Heron!